Opposite DISC Personality Types Clash

Opposite DISC personality types can create challenging interactions.

Are you someone who lives and breaths superlatives, but your boss uses words like “fine” and “good”? As a DISC facilitator I often hear, from the people I train, how they can get so frustrated when receiving feedback. Typically, they find it comes from interacting with their opposite DISC personality types.

Frustrating opposite DISC personality types

One person sees herself as a go-getter and passionate about her work. She described her boss as very reserved and calm. So, every time she’d finish a project or close a deal she’d run excitedly to tell her boss. After she enthusiastically highlighted her recent accomplishments, she eagerly waited for glowing response. What she didn’t expect, after she breathlessly finished, was to hear, “Okay. Sounds good”. Then she waited for the additional feedback she knew should be forthcoming, but that was it. That was it? All she was getting was “sounds good” and “okay”? Hence, she walked away confused and extremely frustrated.

Every time she went for approval for all her hard work she only heard words like “good” and “fine”. The same consistent and cautious feedback from her boss wore on her. She literally felt like “pulling her hair out” and “banging her head against the wall”. She truly didn’t understand what “good” or “fine” really meant. Was that all right or was it not all right? She just wasn’t clear.

Recognizing our differences diminishes frustrations

Opposite DISC personality types discussing work

As we went through the DISC training she began to learn more about the DISC styles.  Not surprisingly, when she took the DISC test her DISC profile came out to be the energetic, talkative, and people-focused I personality type. Then we moved on from learning DISC personality types to how to identify the main DISC profiles of others. At this point, she recognized that her boss was definitely a C personality type and the “a-ha” moments started to happen.

She lived in a world of superlatives where positive feedback meant using words like “fantastic,” “amazing” and “absolutely the best”. Her boss lived in a world where he used economic words to express feedback. He truly felt he was giving positive feedback when he said “fine” or “good”. Hence, the two people in this interaction needed to be aware that each communicates differently. She realized that he really was giving positive feedback. Now it would be perfect for the boss to recognize that his employee naturally prefers to hear feedback differently.

The words we use can convey different meaning to different DISC profiles. Think about that the next time you give or receive feedback. Remember, “fine” really can be good.

 

Are Millennials Really That Different?

Are Millennials really that different? How does knowing DISC tests and DISC profiles help in understanding them better?

The Millennial generation is a hot trending topic. Currently, they are the largest group in our workforce according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Yet, companies are still challenged with recruiting and retaining them. We point them out as being different from the workforce and generations of the past, but are Millennials really that different?
Millennials really that different in the workplace

Workforce Moving from Baby Boomers and Gen X to Millennials

Millennials are defined as those born between 1980 and 1995. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are close to 70 million people born between those years. Traditionally, workers have been predominantly Baby Boomers who are likely to be S profile types. We describe S profile types as steady, amiable, and reliable. They are the ones that stay with you for 30 years and then retire with the gold watch. These Baby Boomers made up 40% of the workforce, but that trend is changing.

Are Millennials really that different as we define them?

Millennials now make up the largest group in the current workforce. What’s changed? Well, we’re finding that Millennials tend to be more I profile types. I-profiles make up only 27% of the Baby Boomers, but over 40% I-profiles for Millennials! The difference in personality types may be the challenges with Millennials.

Typically Millennials are seen as young and energetic. They often look for change and new opportunities. They tend to be filled with entrepreneurial spirit. Probably, the most defining term for this group, is how they are “tech-savvy”. Millennials are the generation most closely associated with technology. The rapid evolution of technology has moved our society at an unprecedented pace. Our smart phones are mini-computers. We use laptops, tablets, and phones all at the same time. We are no longer locked to our desk and office. New technology has given workers the freedom to work whenever and wherever they want. No one has embraced this concept better than the Millennials.

Millennial on phone and working on laptop

Labeling Millennials

Millennial have been labeled as “lazy, unmotivated and unproductive”. Does understanding their DISC types help with misconceptions and improving our interactions? Are Millennials really that different? We asked Halle, one of our own staff Millennials, to give us her view. She has written blogs about her own experience. Now is her time to speak up for her generation.

We view it as positive when Millennials are labelled as “tech-savvy.” However, there appears to be more adverse labels for them rather than positive. For example, adverse labels such as “lazy, unproductive, and unmotivated” can be harsh, unfair and even untrue. One thing we know is when similar DISC personality types get together, their styles can get amplified. Could it be that the strengths of the I-personality types are being overly expressed? Could they be highly social and thus, appear to be adverse to tasks? Are we putting too much weight on looking at the group as one entity? What may seem like a trend of some suddenly becomes a sweeping statement for an entire group.

Millennials truly do view technology different. Often, older generations view technology as something that is learned and separate from life. Yet, Millennials have grown up with it and find less of a separation between tech and life. Millennials view work and personal life as much more blended and the lines between the two are less clear. They may be constantly checking phones to generate ideas for work through social media.

Unproductive and Lazy

We may see a group of young workers as unproductive because they are always on their phone. When we are on our smart phones at work we may only use it to text, check news or look at social media. Since that is our experience, we naturally assume that everyone else is using their phone for the same reason. We judge our own actions by intention because we know our intent. Yet, we tend to judge others by the behaviors we observe. We then assign intent to those behaviors and it’s not always correct. That’s not always fair, but remember all DISC profiles are guilty of making value judgments.

Self-Obsessed

In today’s world, the display of one’s personal life on social media platforms has become the norm. Millennials may be perceived as ‘self-obsessed’ because they’re constantly posting ‘selfies’ or giving people updates on recent successes. In the end, Millennials are just practicing the norm associated with the emergence of social media. People want to be accepted and given feedback. I-personality types like to be liked. They thrive off of positive feedback. Although Millennials tend to post on social media more often, depending on their DISC style they may post and interact differently. I-personality types may post a photo with a long caption, and then interact with those who like or comment on it. A C-personality type or S-personality type may post about their life on social media as well, but you may not see them interacting with others at the same level.

Tips to Improve Interactions from a Millennial

Halle stresses how important it is to receive meaningful feedback. The intention is a desire for frequent input from others; not to be coddled. Growing up as Millennials, parenting styles have changed. Parents, coaches, teachers, and social media are sources of frequent feedback for them. Meaningful feedback is not just about a pat on the back or hearing lots of kudos. It’s about constructive ways to improve performance and be involved in the success of the team. The more often, the better.

The second tip from Halle is to be more open and flexible to change. Millennials have a lot of new and changing ideas in our fast paced world. We need to listen and hear them out. However, they can learn from older generations as well. Baby Boomers and Gen X have life experience and that can also help make the best decisions for new ideas and change. We all need to put the negative stereotypes away and focus on the positive. We can learn from each other.

Ultimately, are Millennials really that different?

Happy MillennialsLook at the individual as a person and not as a generation. Think of your work group, not as generation gaps, but as a diverse team. Each team member may have different DISC profiles, but each bring strengths and areas of development to the group. When we make an effort to interact better with diverse team members, we end up with a more valuable and multi-dimensional team.

However, stereotypes exist for a reason. We need to group people together into Millennials, Gen X and Baby Boomers because it helps us make broad decisions. For example, how do we create work settings that attract certain groups and how can we retain certain groups within our organization?

As managers and co-workers, we need to avoid making value judgments and sweeping statements. We need to be responsible for our own perceptions and actions. We need to focus on the positive aspects of each group or person and view each individual uniquely. Can we modify our own behavior since that is the one thing we can control? We can’t force others to change. Ultimately, we can choose to modify our behavior with others to improve interaction.

The biggest take away is that we know there are challenges when generations come together, but in reality, the challenges aren’t that new. Each generation of the past seemed to have the same challenges if we truly think about it. If we look beyond labeling groups and focus on each interaction then we have the best chance of managing and working with others. Hence, are Millennials really that different? Probably not.

Understanding DISC Profiles Differently

Understanding DISC profiles can be challenging without DISC training. However, we can present different ways to explain them to make sure our clients have a clear understanding of their DISC profiles.

Understanding DISC profiles gives us information about our natural behavioral style. First and foremost, we need to recognize that we have all four DISC styles in us. What the Extended DISC assessments simply show are which behavioral styles are natural and comfortable to us and which styles take energy and focus. The DISC report does not categorize people into better or worse, nor measure attitudes, skills or abilities.

Understanding DISC Profiles

Understanding DISC Profiles - D, I, S, C chart

When looking at DISC profiles, remember that the graph line represents a person’s DISC style (see graph representation below). The graph line intersects at all four of the DISC axes. You want to see where the line intersects in the top half of the graph. Anywhere it intersects one of those 4 D, I, S, and C axes in the top half of the graph is your natural DISC profile. Anywhere the line intersects in the bottom half of the graph are those styles which do not come naturally to you. Your DISC profile is not about your attitudes, skills, or ability. Your DISC profile shows the behaviors which come naturally and comfortably and the behaviors that you need to focus on. Another way is to think in terms of energy. Which behaviors don’t require energy and which behaviors do require energy?

Above and below the surface: a different way of understanding DISC profiles

Natural DISC Profile II graph
Extended DISC Natural Style Graph

Another way to understand your DISC profile is to visualize the surface of a lake. Anything above the surface of the water, like ducks, rocks, and plants are clearly visible to us. Anything below the surface of the water, like fishes, are not clearly visible to us, but we know they’re there. So, unless the fish uses energy to jump out of the water and above the surface then we don’t see it.

The same idea applies to DISC profiles. See the example DISC profile graph above. The two DISC styles that are above the middle line or above the surface are the DISC profile behaviors that will be clearly observed in this person by others. For this example, we see the D profile and the I profile are the 2 styles above the middle line and therefore, we’d typically see D-style and I-style behaviors in this person. The two C and S styles, from the above example, that are below the line are the DISC profile behaviors that are not likely to be observed in this person.

Understanding DISC profiles is a step to improving communication

Our DISC reports are behavioral assessments. Behaviors are something we can adjust and modify in order to improve communication and interactions. If you know your DISC profile then you can begin to understand how you prefer to do things. Your DISC profile also gives insight into how you show up under pressure. When we feel stressed or pressured we don’t have the same focus and energy to adjust. We can become more of who we really are.

Learning the surface water analogy can help you better explain our DISC profile. In addition, now that you have a better understanding of DISC profiles, you also have a starting point in which to make effective and appropriate behavior modifications.

Stressed, Anxious and Unproductive – Not Just Millennials

Millennials are constantly labeled as unproductive, stressed out and anxious. Why single out millennial’s for having the same common qualities as everyone else?

I am a stressed out, unproductive and anxious millennial

First, I want to start this all off by introducing myself. Hi, I’m Halle, and I am the Client Loyalty and Marketing Manager at Extended DISC. I also happen to be a millennial. The other day I was scrolling through LinkedIn, and I came across a Forbes article: ‘8 Habits That Make Millennials Stressed, Anxious And Unproductive’. Of course, as a millennial, I was intrigued. I read the article to learn what it had to say.

The article stated some of the obvious reasons for anxiety. The reasons included a tough job market and student debt. Owing money and trying to find a job is an obvious stressor for anyone, right?

However, I found myself rolling my eyes at two of the reasons they said caused millennial’s stress and anxiety. They cited poor sleeping habits and skipping meals. Why are these two reasons being singled out to only cause stress for the millennial generation? Yes, if I’m tired, then I feel unproductive. Again, wouldn’t that cause stress for all generations? Also, when I don’t have enough to eat, I can get ‘hangry’ (a combination of angry and hungry). I may appear stressed, grumpy, or anxious. Stating these two reasons as the main causes for stress in millennials only makes us look bad. We stay up all night and skip our breakfast so we are more stressed than others. Read the sarcasm.

Self-awareness helps me avoid being stressed and helps me manage my time

When I am feeling stressed, there are usually are a number of factors that cause me to feel the way I do. Sometimes, I even have trouble pinpointing the exact cause of my stress and anxiety. Since working with Extended DISC, I find identifying my stressors became easier after I discovered our ‘Stress & Time Management’ report. One of the many perks of using DISC reports is that they can be customized and tailored to your needs. DISC reports can be relevant to specific job roles like healthcare or sales, and lifestyle like stress, time management.

Stress Scale - How stressed are you?

Other generations, such as the baby boomers, may think ‘adulting’ is a major cause of stress for millennials. However, there are many common causes of stress across all generations. DISC tools offer content that can impact your daily life and how you choose to go about behaving in certain situations. Not only does DISC initiate effective communication and teamwork, but it also can do more. It helps people understand what their signs of stress are, what works to alleviate stress, and how to better manage their time. (See image for Extended DISC analysis of stress).

I keep finding article topics that pigeonhole the millennial generation as unmotivated, unproductive and other negative adjectives. DISC reports can help pinpoint how millennials manage their time, what causes them stress, or what methods work best in alleviating that stress. Using DISC reports can help transform behavior and understanding of others, regardless of the generation. It’s time to stop boxing in millennials and to see individual’s as unique, no matter the generation.

WEBINAR: Are Millennials Really Different? Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Why are millennials described as entitled and unmotivated? Are millennials really that different from the rest of us?

Next Extended DISC Webinar

Are Millennials Really Different?

Tuesday, March 7th, 2017
10:00 AM – 10:30 AM CST

Overview

Millennials are currently the largest group in our workforce and different from the workforce of the past. Traditionally, workers have been predominantly S personality types, but we are finding out that millennials are more like to be I personality types. Millennials have been labeled as entitled, unmotivated and unproductive. Does understanding their DISC types help with misconceptions and improving our interactions?

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Understanding DISC Profiles of your Prospects and Buyers

Wednesday, March 29, 2017
10:00 AM – 10:30 AM CST

Effective Communication in 4 Steps

Discover the 4 Steps to Effective Communication and why it’s so effective in your DISC practice. Combining these 4 steps with DISC tools will enhance your ability to deliver DISC to your clients and employees.

Overview of the 4 Steps to Effective Communication

effective communication in 4 stepsWe build these 4 Steps to Effective Communication in our DISC reports, and training materials. Step 1 is to understand what D, I, S and C personality types mean. Step 2 is learning to identify your own DISC style. How would you increase self-awareness of how you prefer to behave or do things? In addition to self-awareness, learn how others see your behaviors. Step 3 is a strength of the DISC Model. Learn to identify the main DISC style of others. Lastly, Step 4 is to modify your own behaviors to improve interaction and communication.

 

 

Step 1 is Understand DISC Styles intro

DISC ModelWhile 99% of us are a combination of DISC styles, we look at each of the 4 DISC styles in its 100% form to help us learn about them. The key things to remember before we go into each style is that no style is better or worse. We share similarities and we have differences between the DISC styles. We all have strengths and areas of development.

Introduce the DISC 4 Quadrant Model. Each quadrant represents one DISC style. Whenever I used the words “model” or “diamond” think of it as a map. Where the person is graphed on the map tells you his or her DISC style. You can choose to use the one word descriptors or the D, I, S, and C letters to represent each DISC style.

DISC DiamondThe DISC Diamond model is a tool for observing and analyzing behaviors. A simple way to explain it is how we prefer to do things. The Diamond takes the DISC 4 Quadrant Model to the next level by creating sections of each quadrant to better identify a person’s DISC style.

We have all styles. Everyone of us has D, I, S, and C. The DISC test tells us which of the DISC styles come naturally and which of the DISC styles take energy and focus. The DISC test is not about your ability, but about which behaviors you feel are natural to you and which are not.

Any style can be successful. Leaders come from all styles. Regardless of style, we find that the most successful people are those that are confidently self-aware. They can observe, assess, and recognize . Once they can do that they can modify their behavior to improve communication and success.

Step 1 understand the DISC styles

D-styles are task-oriented and active. They are focused on accomplishments. They are tough, decisive, and independent. When they are under pressure they can show a lack of concern and appear insensitive. Their biggest fear is loss of control. D-styles like to be large and in charge. Some examples of D-style would be Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton, and Simon Cowell of American Idol.

I-Styles are active and people-oriented. They never meet a stranger. Every interaction is an opportunity to socialize. I-styles are sociable, talkative, optimistic, and persuasive. Under pressure the I-style can become disorganized. They can be so concerned about people and feeling that details fall through the cracks. I-styles fear social rejection. They never want to be on the outside looking in Some examples of I-styles are Robin Williams, Kate Hudson, and Goldie Hawn.

S-styles are people-oriented and reserved. They like people, but prefer people to know. S-styles are all about relationships. They are amiable, good listeners, model, and trustworthy. Under pressure S-styles can be too willing and overly accommodating. They prefer secure and stable environments. Some examples are Tom Hanks and Princess Kate.

C-styles are task-oriented and reserved. They like to analyze tasks and things. C-styles are disciplined, rule followers, and formal. Under pressure they can become overly critical and get bogged down by analysis paralysis. C-styles fear criticism of their work because they believe in high quality work. They can be self-critical because they set high standards for themselves. Some examples are Sheldon Cooper of Big Bang Theory and Hermione of Harry Potter.

Step 2 is identifying your style

DISC reportStep 2 is becoming more aware of our DISC behavioral style. This is a good place to provide your clients and employees with their Extended DISC Assessment now that they have a clearer understanding of what is DISC. DISC does not classify people into good or bad or better or worse. There are no right or wrong results, but the questions are forced-choice. Your DISC profile is based on self-evaluation. The results do not limit a person’s ability to develop in another direction or work environment. The test does not measure intelligence, skills, abilities or attitudes. The focus is strictly on how a person prefers to do things or his or her natural behavioral style.

Step 2 in the report provides you with information about your DISC style including the profiles 1 and 2 and where your style shows up on the Extended DISC Diamond. The DISC report focuses your natural style which is reflected 95% of the report. If we know how we tend to behave and also how we tend to become more of our style under pressure then we have a base point for making the appropriate modifications to our style.

If you need a quick refresher on reading the profiles, check out the Interpreting DISC Profiles webinar.

Step 3 is identifying the main DISC style in others

Now that we’ve identified our own style, the next step is to identify the styles of others so that you can make the most effective adjustments. Your self-awareness and changes will improve your ability to interact with others and produce more positive outcomes. In the third step of 4 Steps to Effective Communication we learn to identify the primary styles of others. One of the strengths of the DISC model is the simplicity in which you only need to identify 4 primary styles. This is a skill that takes practice, but is easy to learn.

Use the OAR acronym as a reminder to observe, assess, and recognize. When observing, listen to what others talk about, how they say things, tone of voice, and body language. Each DISC style has specific things they prefer to talk about. For example, the D-style prefers to talk about goals, results, and change. The S-style prefers to talk about the team and agreements whereas, the C-style prefers data and facts. Then you move on to assessing. Is the person is more reserved or active and is he or she more task-oriented or people-oriented? Finally, based on your observations and assessment you can recognize with DISC quadrant the person most likely falls into.

Step 4 is modifying behaviors to improve interactions

We have reached the final step in the 4 Steps to Effective Communication. First, we need to understand that self-awareness is a gift. We accept who we are and we are responsible for our own behaviors. We can choose or not choose to modify our behaviors. What we can’t do is to change others. We can only control ourselves. You simply have to understand what drives people and recognize your options for dealing with them. Consider interacting with people they way they prefer to interact.

Locate the tips sections in your DISC report. These tips are specific to the person’s styles and will improve interactions with other DISC styles. Think about these tips when you are interacting with others and how these behaviors don’t come naturally to you.  You need to concentrate and focus on changing. For example, if you are an S-style and interacting with a D-style, you need to remember to be concise and direct in your statements.

Goal for Four Steps to Effective Communication

We all have preferred ways of doing things, but we need to move to more effective situational behaviors at times. How do we move outside our behavioral comfort zone and find the behaviors that are better suited to specific roles and situations? If we know our natural style, then we have a base point for making proactive modifications. Thus, practicing or thinking about better ways to behave in different roles can benefit our track to success.

We understand that, within our jobs, we are responsible for things outside our comfort zone. Can we recognize and adjust our style? When we practice behaviors repetitively we can get to a point where they become more comfortable and drain less energy. The goal here is to move towards learned behaviors or ones that, though not natural, are more natural-like.

2 people Communicating effectivelyUltimately, what we are trying to develop is a strategic communication response. When we understand our natural style, how we prefer to behave and how we show up under pressure then we are able to proactively make effective adjustments.

The 4 Steps to Effective Communication is built into our Facilitator’s Guide which shows you how to deliver a DISC workshop. We also have the 4 Steps to Effective Communication Workbook. Lastly, remember our DISC reports are built on the 4 Steps to Effective Communication. Using the DISC tools, while understanding the 4 Steps to Effective Communication, will create a strong and highly effective delivery of DISC to your employees and clients.

Personal Bias on What It Means to Be Successful

No one DISC style determines how successful an individual will be. Our personal bias, however, affects how we perceive the world and what we believe creates success…including what DISC Styles create success.

A couple of years ago I received a call from a consultant who was using the Extended DISC assessment tool with one of his clients. He was in charge of a project to help a client identify the behavioral requirements of a successful store manager. While the top management was reasonably satisfied with the performance of most of the stores, it also believed that many of the managers were doing only a mediocre job. However, no one was quite sure how to best improve their performance. Personal bias on what makes a successful store manager differed throughout the entire organization.

The client was a furniture retail chain in the South. It was a family-owned business. The company had been in business for almost 80 years and was doing well, with sales of about $200 million and growing steadily. Change was about to take place. The company’s CEO was going to retire soon and his son was going to take the helm. The transition was expected to be fairly smooth because the son had been involved in the business from an early age. Most of the employees knew him or at least of him. Also, everyone had always known that this hand-off of the leadership position would eventually take place. The father had been in the same position 35 years ago as he took over from the founder of the company – his father.

Like Father, Not Like Son

The father and the son were quite different. Although both were very committed to the success of the business, their leadership styles were almost opposite. The father was very outgoing and gregarious. He seemed to have endless energy that he expressed freely. The son, although likeable enough, was analytical, systematic and more difficult to get to know.

The father, the son and the top four store managers were asked to participate in the assessment. The results of the assessment revealed that the father and the son perceived the ideal store manager behaviors to be almost opposite. Father believed the best style of manager should be outgoing, talkative, enthusiastic, persuasive, animated and energetic. He believed – and we see this happen often – that the ideal store manager essentially should be like him. After all, he was successful. His results indicated that the best kind of manager was an I-style in our model (see the dot in the bottom right quadrant on the image shown).

Personal Bias affects views on success

The son, on the other hand, deemed the ideal style to be analytical, logical, precise, systematic and more cautious. His results indicated that the best kind of manager was a C-style (the dot in the top left quadrant).

However, the most startling finding was that none of the top store managers could define the ideal store manager. Consequently, their assessment results were what we often call a “flat-line”. It indicated that the store managers perceived the ideal style manager should be able to do it all – they should be able to demonstrate all behavioral styles at the same time. Obviously, it is an impossible feat.

The consultant was puzzled. How could all of the top store managers generate the same type of results?

Further discovery revealed that both the father and the son visited the stores often. It was part of the culture to “visit the troops” often. When the father showed up, it was always a party atmosphere. He would enthusiastically talk to everyone, shake their hands and ask questions about the employees’ family members. “How is your daughter, Sue, doing? Is she still playing volleyball? He did not always get the names and the sports right, but his smile and enthusiasm was genuine. He was also full of fun ideas about how to build excitement at the stores. “Let’s have a sales contest!! The salesperson who sells the most next month will win a weekend for two in Las Vegas. This will be lots of fun!” he would declare cheerfully.

The son’s visits were a different story. On the way to the manager’s office, he would shake a few hands and say some words. But, he would quickly find his way to the manager’s office and dive into the store’s books. “Bob, your overtime expense is still creeping up”, he would comment. “You need to get this under control soon. I want you to email your weekly numbers to me every Monday morning. I want to stay informed.”

Personal Bias on Success Sends Mixed Signals

Clearly the managers were receiving very mixed signals. On the one hand the emphasis was squarely on the people-side. On another, the focus was very task-focused and operational. It was virtually impossible for the managers to respond to both demands. They were in an uncomfortable spot and when asked what the ideal style should be, the answer was not surprising anymore. You needed to be a little bit of everything. “Is Clark Kent looking to change careers?”

Who we are creates a significant personal bias at many levels. It affects how we see the world and what we believe creates a successful individual. To deny this personal bias adversely affects our performance. To be aware of it, we are armed with the knowledge to improve our success. What are your leaders expecting from their employees?

4 Steps to Effective Communication Overview Webinar

Learn a great way to present our 4 steps to effective communication into your DISC assessments and workshops.

Date:

4 Steps to Effective Communication Overview Webinar

Wednesday, February 8th, 2017

10:00 AM – 10:30 AM CDT.

Overview

Join Extended DISC senior trainer, Christina Bowser and Client Loyalty and Marketing Manager, Halle Bolender as they present a 30-minute webinar on the 4 steps to effective communication. Learn about how to incorporate the following into your Extended DISC assessment debriefs and DISC workshops:

  • Understanding the DISC Styles; how people are similar and different
  • Becoming more self-aware and how others see our style
  • Identifying the main DISC styles in others
  • Modifying our own behaviors appropriately to improve interaction and communication.

How to Register: 

Click HERE to sign up

After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the webinar.

Leaders can get so Stuck on Suck-Ups…but why?

Nobody likes a suck-up. So why do leaders surround themselves with them?

Leaders stuck on Suck Ups

This blog was adapted from an Extended DISC® newsletter featuring Marshall Goldsmith in February of 2006.

I have reviewed more than 100 custom-designed leadership profiles for major corporations. These documents typically feature boilerplate language that describes the leadership behaviors companies desire. Such chestnuts for leaders include “communicates a clear vision,” “helps people develop to their maximum potential,” “strives to see the value of differing opinions,” and “avoids playing favorites.”

One item I have never read is “effectively fawns over executive management.” While almost every company says it wants people to “challenge the system,” “be empowered to express your opinion,” and “say what you really think,” there sure are a lot of high performers who are stuck on sucking up.

Not only do companies say they abhor such comically servile behavior, but so do individual leaders. Almost all of the leaders I have met say that they would never encourage such a thing in their organizations. I have no doubt that they are sincere. Most of us are easily irritated–if not disgusted–by derriere kissers. Which raises a question: If leaders say they discourage sucking up, why does it happen so often? Here’s a straightforward answer: Without meaning to, we all tend to create an environment where people learn to reward others with accolades that aren’t really warranted. We can see this very clearly in other people. We just can’t see it in ourselves.

So now you may be thinking, “This guy Goldsmith is right. It’s amazing how leaders send out subtle signals that encourage subordinates to mute their criticisms and exaggerate their praise of the powers that be. And it’s surprising how they can’t see themselves doing it. Of course, Goldsmith isn’t talking about me. I don’t do this in my company.” And maybe you’re right.

How can you be so sure that you’re not in denial?

I use an irrefutable test with my clients to show how we unknowingly encourage sucking up. I ask a group of leaders the following question: “How many of you own a dog that you love?” Big smiles cross these executives’ faces as they wave their hands in the air. They beam as they tell me the names of their always-faithful mutts. Then we have a contest. I ask them, “At home, who gets most of your unabashed affection?” The multiple choices: one, your husband, wife, or partner; two, your kids; or three, your dog. More than 80% of the time, the winner is the dog.

Dogs are the best example of a suck-up

I then ask them if they love their dogs more than the members of their families. The answer is always a resounding no. My follow-up: “So why does the dog get most of your attention?” They reply with answers that all sound about the same. “The dog is always happy to see me.” “The dog never talks back.” “The dog gives me unconditional love, no matter what I do.” In other words, the dog is a suck-up.

I can’t say that I am any better. I have two dogs at home. I travel all the time, and the dogs go absolutely nuts when I return from a trip. I pull into the driveway, and my first inclination is to open the front door, go straight to the dogs, and exclaim, “Daddy’s home!” Invariably, the dogs jump up and down, and I give them a hug. One day, my daughter, Kelly, was home from college. She watched my typical love fest with the dogs. She then looked at me, held her hands in the air like little paws, and barked, “Woof woof.”

Point taken.

If we aren’t careful, we can treat people at work like dogs: by rewarding those who heap unthinking, unconditional admiration upon us. What behavior do we get in return? A virulent case of the suck-ups.

Here’s how leaders can stop encouraging this behavior. Begin by admitting that we all have a tendency to favor those who favor us, even if we don’t mean to. We should then rank our direct reports in three areas. First, how much do they like me? (I know you aren’t sure. What matters is how much they act as if they like you.) Second, what is their contribution to our company and our customers? Third, how much positive, personal recognition do I give them? In many cases, if we are honest with ourselves, how much recognition we give someone is more often highly correlated with how much they seem to like us than it is with how well they perform. If that is the case, we may be encouraging the kind of behavior that we despise in others. Without meaning to, we are basking in hollow praise, which makes us hollow leaders.

Mashall Goldsmith Executive CoachDr. Marshall Goldsmith has been named by the American Management Association as one of 50 great thinkers and business leaders who have impacted the field of management. His many books include New York Times and Wall Street Journal’s Bestseller ‘Triggers, Creating Behavior That Lasts–Becoming the Person You Want to Be’. Marshall is a world authority in helping successful leaders achieve positive change in behavior: for themselves, their people and their teams.